It’s been a long while since I wrote, I’m sorry for that. Things felt very big for a while, and gathering my thoughts for long enough to make a legible post about it was a bit beyond me. Bear with me, I’m going to try now!
Two years ago tonight, Mrs S and we’re going to bed in the knowledge that the very next day, we would meet our children for the first time. We were full of hope and expectation, full of excitement. It had taken about 16 months of preparation to get to that point, not including the amount of time it took us to decide to make our family by adopting children.
I think it’s safe to say that two years ago tonight was the last time either one of us felt even remotely normal! Something I’ve learned is that once you have children, you never completely relax again. You sleep less deeply, just in case they need you in the night time. When they’re with you, you worry about whether you’re giving them the right food, or the right toys. When they’re not with you, you worry about whether they’re safe and happy and being kind.
Everything changed two years ago, my heart stopped being my own.